Size Up

One of the most frustrating things about being fat is going onto a boutique website, looking at all these ready made, off the rail, exactly what I've always wanted clothes, looking, salivating, coveting and then, finally, resigning yourself to painfully click the 'accessories' section. These sites are for the thin, and these sites only do straight sizes, but I bookmark them anyway for inspiration or for occasional trawling through for oversized stuff or just for plain bitterness when I feel like flicking through and cursing that fat girls can be chic too you fucks. 

It's for the same reason I no longer go clothes shopping with my straight sized friends. It will only be a matter of time before I'm tearing things off the rails in Top Shop bellowing that it should be MINE! It should be FOR ME! Until eventually they call in animal control to take me down with elephant tranquilizers. It makes me despair that anyone below a size 22 has unbelievable clothes practically leaping off the rails and onto their ungrateful frames and occasionally my bitterness pays off. It's because I like to grope my way through these sites along with every fat site I can get my perfectly mint polished claws into that I see similarities appear. 

Here we have an offering from Bitching and Junkfood, which in case you can't tell by the name is hip beyond your wildest dreams. 
Find it here
They're doing the whole, mid 90's, 'The Craft', demi goth with colour thing that's everywhere and so tantalizingly out of reach for fatties. But wait.

Behold this next offering from Simply Be*. 
Find it here
I mean they've styled it bizarrely but dammit all if that isn't the same jacket. Yes, it's a little off shade and it's longer, but it's basically the same one. Personally the longer length would suit me, I want to size it up by about two sizes and wear it like a gigantic blue furry hug. 

You're welcome. More to come.

Also the lack of posting is because I'm sick all the time. Bare with. 

*I'm linking to the Irish site because I'm from Ireland... and so I order from there. 


New Years Devolutions

The title is the affectionate name I've affixed to the tradition of new year's resolutions. A wonderful time of year in which we lie to ourselves and everyone around us about how we plan to bring ourselves up to the basic requirements of humanity so that we can be injected into social situations without people fleeing in despair.

Last year I made the resolution to buy Vogue every month, in the hope I would become a better fashion journalist whilst simultaneously sizing up the competition. I did succeed in my resolution, but I also started buying and smoking Vogue menthols around September to deal with the mind numbing boredom of having to read stupid Vogue all the stupid time. Yay, rich white people did something I saw on tumblr six months ago. No one cares... Frankly it's put me off resolutions altogether, even ones that initially seem appealing. I've decided to break down the most common resolutions for the rest of you, so you don't make the same mistake.

Here are the top ten new years resolutions according to the first website that came up on google that had 'statistics' vaguely in the description. Therefore, science.


The Twelve Gifts of Christmas

Here's my belated Christmas wish list. I know it's very late and far too close to Christmas to order things online but if you truly love me you will find a way to have all twelve here by the 25th. I've been told I become quite unreasonable around the holidays which might have something to do with Tesco selling Terry's Chocolate Orange's for under €2. When you finish your 14th in a row you can be involuntarily committed.

Anyway I managed not to go too stud mental in my gift list, but frankly if I had my way this post would just be eleven pictures of metal studs and a final picture of me hot gluing studs to my face. I've spent quite a substantial amount of money on ebay buying sacks the addictive, pointy, treasures and when they arrive I plan to turn myself and every garment I own into some kind of fashion porcupine. 

Instead of studs, I tried to select each item from a different plus size shop or designer to give a more varied list. 



I just saw this on Pocket Rocket (which is a super cute fatshion blog if you haven't seen it already).
A gorgeous new plus size clothes company called One One Three, and after seeing the photos I'm positively giddy...


The Ever Expanding Universe

Remember that post I did about how nebula print is finally available in plus size? 
Well here's one more, this time from Nakimuli as part of their ever expanding plus size range.

You can buy this for me here, and actually while you're there you should really peruse the rest of their plus size stuff. It's very very good...

Things I NEED

Buy me this immediately if not sooner.
Don't be crap, it's on sale and everything. You can buy it for me here x

So I was so struck by the top's utter beauty (and the post Christmas shopping dregs left in my paypal account) that I simply had to buy it. I have absolutely nothing to wear it with, but I don't care, I'm just going to nail it to my wall and weep at it's glory.